Quitting the job that I felt defined me

I was hopeful when I moved to Spokane to become a mental health counselor, and I was idealistic in my pursuit to help others. As much as I will miss my job working as a counselor, I knew that putting my own mental health on the line for the sake of others wouldn't benefit my clients. I was depressed, antisocial, and growing more bitter by the day with a caseload of 45 clients. I knew in a few months when I hit 60, I would barely be functioning in my personal life. I have enjoyed helping people and learning about the demographics of Spokane through the eyes of marginalized communities --I connected with so many clients who inspired me to appreciate my own life and shape a high level of empathy for others. I learned that I love working with young adults, and I have a passion for art therapy to heal trauma.

But, I also learned that burnout is real, and being a nonprofit does not always mean noncorporate. I saw the inner workings of a broken system where members of our community were tossed around from provider to provider, and low-income clients were failed over and over again by community health. My hope is that I can find a way to help others that sits right with my soul and does not emotionally drain me.

Working in mental health has been greatly rewarding and a long-term goal of mine. In the future, I may come back to the field when the time is right, but for now, I will see where life takes me.