No Job, No Home, No Man: The Great Crashout of 2025

Jesse was there to witness the devolution in real time

I’m coming to the blog to rant and rave about the grand injustices of my current situation. Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin this story — and in the wise words of Eminem, “I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like.”

It feels like this: I feel the edge. I feel explosive. For a while, I was calling myself unshakeable, but the truth is… I am very, very shakeable.

Things were easy when I was working from home, chatting away on the LGBTQ hotline. Things were even easier when it was summer — when my days were filled with backyard lounging, beach trips, gardening, motorbiking, pole dancing, laughing at memes, hitting my protein macros, and swiping on dating apps for a quick dopamine hit (celibacy still seems like the only viable option).

Things got harder when I lost my job. When my neighbors decided to be deeply offended by my backyard BBQ/pole dancing combo and got my landlord to kick me out. When the guy I was seeing casually posted a photo with another woman on Instagram, I had to find out through someone else. If one more white guy tells me “don’t trip,” I swear I’m going to take a long walk off a short pier.

I guess you could call this an unplanned fresh start. Much like an unplanned pregnancy, it feels a little dark at first — but maybe in nine months, I’ll be glad it happened. Not right now, though. Right now, I’m wishing for a way to terminate. But I can’t get off this ride. So I’m doing the only thing I can: embracing the one constant in life — change.

Being the resilient (and slightly insane) girl I am, I’ve already landed a new job and found a new place to live. But the emotional fallout from the last few weeks is still heavy in my heart. 

For now, I’ll try to stay optimistic. I’ll remind myself that the only thing I can control is how I feel about it all. And hey-- at least I can finally get a cat at my new house. And dance freely in my yard.

It’s the little things.